What if?

So for the past 2 months, stress, anxiety, panic and depression has taken over me. I've been dealing with this problem over the course of my entire life and never have I imagined it would get this far. It all started when I was in grade school. I literally shit my pants during our field trip which is totally embarrassing and overwhelming. This traumatic and shameful experience has impacted my life. The fear that it may happen again and the "what if" thoughts have been constantly in my mind since then. Of course I've moved on from that but the way I think remains the same. It has gotten to the point that I'm always thinking about death 24/7 which fuels my panic and anxiety into it's highest degrees.

May 2015, a completely normal day and suddenly felt a sharp pain in my chest. I made the worst decision by asking Dr. Google about it which leads me to heart-related diseases. The chest pain became worse and I had discomfort and shortness of breath all throughout which ended me up in the ER. Funny thing is that these physical symptoms disappear in front of my doctor. All tests came back normal and was later dismissed. My mind wanted to believe I'm okay but my body's telling me a different story. I wasn't convinced so I continued diagnosing myself online which again sends me another trip to the ER. This time I was assured that I am okay.

June 2015, I was playing DotA 2 and suddenly felt weakness in my arms and realized it's a sign to take a rest. The very next day the weakness became worse and I'm getting dizziness, feeling off balanced and my legs feel rubbery. This went on for weeks and yes, Dr. Google again to the rescue and diagnosed me with ALS! I also had muscle twitching all over and was convinced that I am dying. I've been to countless doctors which all gave me medicine for vertigo, which is extremely not the case and came up with the conclusion that not all doctors can be trusted. Finally I consulted a neurologist and told me I don't have ALS and was later scheduled for series of tests to rule out this killer disease and give comfort in my mind. But that didn't ease me.

All this shit have been going on through my mind and living a normal life is extremely difficult! I'm losing weight and attracted more diseases. What made it even worse is that I get ZERO support from my family and in fact they wish I'd just die. My girlfriend tried to help and be positive but later gave up on me. Now she adds up to my disappointment and proved how loser I am. But I can't blame them all. Right now I'm a loner. Crying helped me a bit but the fear never left. I'm trying to be positive but I just can't lie to myself!

I'm losing hope.

"Clouds" come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky

And just like that, it's over. Dumating nanaman ako sa point ng buhay ko na kelangan mag move, araw araw magiging masakit at mahirap pero sa huli, ito din ung makakatulong sakin or should i say samin. Masakit kasi akala mo, siya na, pagkatapos mong ibigay lahat ng oras at ng love mo sknya, sa ganun lng mauuwi, sa galit, sa inis at sa break-up lng pala. Pero ayokong ihighlight sa post na to 'to lahat ng nega, gusto ko balikan for the last time ung mga araw na naging sobrang masaya at nagpakilig samin. Kahit na sa loob lng ng maikling panahon :)

Nameet ko siya sa work, isa akong newbie at isa na siyang mentor ng mga newbies. First day palang na nakita at nakilala ko siya ay na love at first sight tlga ako. Totoo nga ang love at first sight, akala ko sa una ko lng marerealize un, sknya din pala. Anyway, ung araw na un, kung seswertehin nga naman, naging mentor ko siya, naging interesado ako sknya hanggang sa niligawan ko siya. Siya lng ang babaeng niligawan ko, sakanya lng ako nag effort ng sobra sobra. In the end, naging kami naman. Exactly 5 months ago, sinagot niya ako, birthday pa niya. Wala nang mas special pa sa araw na 'yun. Although inispoil niya ung pinagpaplanuhan kong bonggang bonggang proposal in public, ako nmn ang nasurprise niya nung araw na un. Nung mga oras din na naging kami, unang beses kong narinig ang pinaka sincere na 'i love you' by far. Sobrang tumagos sakin, ewan ko kung bakit. Bsta, iba ung dating sakin. Kaya deep inside, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na aalagaan ko siya ng mabuti, liligawan parin araw araw, papasayahin, iispoilin at kung ano ano pa. Niligawan naman niya pati parents, family at friends ko and i liked that. Kahit na parehas kaming tinotoyo palagi, inintindi namin ang isa't isa. Kht na sinasabi niyang mataba ung hita niya, inispoil ko parin siya at sinasabihan parin ng 'sexy'. Kht na puro sipon, luha at pawis na ung panyo ko, hindi ko siya pinandirian or jnudge. Kahit na madami kaming ayaw sa isa't isa, tinanggap namin lahat un. Comfortable at mahal namin ang isa't isa. Naging masayang masaya tlga kami kahit sa saglit na panahon lng. Siya din nagbgay sakin ng inspiration at ng 'sense of urgency' sa halos lahat ng bagay. Tinuruan niya ako ng mga do's and dont's, this and that at maraming marami pa. Lalo lng din akong nainspire sa mga kwento at bngyan nya ako ng reason para mapalapit ulet kay God. Lahat ng 'to nagustuhan ko sknya, lahat ng 'to nagbigay pa sakin ng dahilan na dapat ingatan at alagaan ko siya, hanggang sa lahat ng bagay na gngwa ko umikot na sknya at napamahal lng ako ng sobra.

She's full of surprises. First time kong magsama ng girlfriend sa outing ng family at ng tropa, first time kong ma surprise at mabigyan ng kht anong gift, kht na may mga spoilers. Andaming 'first time' sknya kht mejo matanda na ako e atleast naexperience ko dhl sknya.

Perfect na sana ano po? Kaso nag backfire. We were so smothered in love we didn't have a chance to come up for air. Nakakapanghinayang, sobrang bilis ng lahat ng pangyayare, sayang ung mga plans namin, ung mga promises, sinayang ko ung effort niya para makeep at maayos ung relationship namin. Sayang siya, ngaun nasasaktan siya pero in the end, ako parin ang magsisisi. Pero tanggap ko un. Hindi ko pinagsisisihan na naging kami at sa lahat ng nangyare samin, may point talaga sa relationship na ibbgay mo lahat kasi akala mo siya na, na perfect kaung dalawa. Pero thankful ako at naging kami, sa lahat ng memories, good and bad, itetreasure ko parin.

Well, matagal tagal pa ulet siguro bago kami magpapansinan ulet pero since special dapat samin ung araw na to, i made her a blog post na lng. Hey. Sorry if we screwed up.

Happy 15th! :')

ps: eto pla dpat ung ibibigay ko sau ngaun. sorry hindi ko na tinapos. alam mo nmn kung ano 'to.

the epic Yellowcard experience.

feb. 20, 2011 - concert ng Yellowcard sa Pilipinas. Eksaktong isang linggo na ang nakalipas pero parang kahapon lang ay nasa harapan ko pa ang yellowcard at sinasabayan ko sila sa pagkanta habang tumatalon ng 'rock and roll' style. yeah! hanggang ngayon ay may yellowcard hangover parin ako dahil isa talga ang araw na toh na hindi ko makakalimutan. :)

para sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, ako ay isang avid na yellowcard fan. sa lahat ng madaming bandang gusto ko, yellowcard tlaga ang nangunguna sa listahan ko. nagsimula ang lahat nung 2nd year highschool pa lamang ako nang unang mapanood ko ang music video nila na 'Only One' sa myx. simula nun nagustuhan ko na ang banda at pati narin ang karamihan sa mga kanta nila. ambading pakinggan pero ganun tlga. 6 years nakong yellowcard fan.

at nung isang linggo lng ay dumating na ang pnakahihintay ko sa lahat, ang concert ng yellowcard sa pilipinas! october palang ay alam ko nang may concert cla dito kaya maaga palang ay pnaghandaan ko na at nag aya nako ng kasama. pero walang gustong sumama. mahal daw ang ticket! 3.5k ang VIP at 1.8k ang gen. ad. pero kung tutuusin mura na yan kumpara sa mga ticket ng MCR, FoB at Paramore na umaabot ng 5k-15k! sa dulo ka pa nkapwesto nun. lol! so wala akong nayaya at naghanap nalang ako ng mga 'loners' sa fan page ng concert ng yellowcard sa manila sa facebook. madami dami din kaming mga 'loners' kaya pnagplanuhan nalng namin na magsama sama kami sa concert para mas masaya. heto kami. haha.



fast forward nalng natin sa concert mismo..

ayan, nasa entrance na kami ng a.venue hall. first time ko manood ng concert dito at nasurpresa ako sa loob ng a.venue hall. maliit lang sya pero maluwag? ah basta kitang kita mo ang mga nagpeperform sa stage khit san ka pumwesto, mabibingi ka pa dahil solid sa lakas yung maririnig mong sound sa loob. maswerte kami dhl nsa unahan kami ng pila at nakakuha kami ng magandang pwesto sa harapan ng gen. ad section. 7:30pm nagumpisa tumugtog ang mga front act band na Hilera at Silent Sanctuary. 8:30pm na natapos ang last performance nila. at ayan na, 30 minutes nagayos ng mga kung ano ano yung mga 'boy' ng yellowcard, eksaktong 9:00pm ay biglang pinatay lahat ang ilaw. ilang sandali pa ay nagsisigawan at naghihiyawan na ang mga tao sa loob ng a.venue hall ng 'YELLOWCARD'! syempre nakisali na din ako! lumalakas pa ang hiyaw ng mga tao at mas lalong tumataas ang energy sa loob ng hall. madilim ang stage at makikita mo lng kung ano meron sa stage pag may mga disco lights na tumama doon. habang naghihiyawan ang mga tao ay mas lalong nabaliw ang mga manonood ng may napansin silang umakyat sa stage at alam na nilang si ryan key un! mya mya pa ay dumating na ang ibang myembro ng yellowcard, onti onti na ding nagkakaroon ng liwanag sa stage. unang strum palng ng gitara ay mas lalong nabaliw ang mga baliw nang manonood! at hanggang sa sabay sabay ng tumutugtog ang yellowcard sa harap ng libo libong yellowcard fans ng pilipinas! estimate ko nsa 1.5k-2k lng ung tao dito. aw.

eto ang full setlist ng concert nila.

SET A:
The Takedown
Fighting
Shrink The World
Way Away
Breathing
Life of a Salesman

BREAK:
LP's Drum Solo

SET B:
Rough Landing Holly
Five Becomes Four
Only One
For You And Your Denial
the 'i love you spider' chant. haha.
Gifts and Curses
Believe
kunwari magpapaalam na sila,
sabi pa ni ryan key "we have 4 minutes left so let's blow the roof out of this fuckin' place. this is our final song for the night but definitely not our last song here in the Philippines. We promise we will come back".
crowd: awwwwwww. :(
Lights and Sounds

ENCORE:
Empty Apartment (Acoustic)
Light Up The Sky
Ocean Avenue
gg



so ayon, 16 songs compared to 12 of paramore. sulit na sulit. gnda pa pwesto. haha.
pinaka-nagustuhan ko tlgang performance nila ung Rough Landing Holly, di ko inakalang ganun pala kaganda un pag live. pati yung lights and sounds. nung kinanta din nila ung Believe paulet ulet lng ung mga tao kumakanta ng 'everything is gonna be alright, be strong believe'. shet ang angas ng mga tao pag narinig nyo. lol.

pero sa totoo lng, sumabay ako sa pagkanta sa lahat ng tinugtog nila. tumatalon din ng 'rock and roll' style ang mga tao kaya nakikitalon din ako. masarap at masaya tlga ang manood ng concert pag alam mo lahat ng kanta, nakikikanta ka at nakikipagslaman ka. :)

okay na din sakin ung napanood ko sila ng live kht wala akong remembrance na shirt, cd o pick o kung ano mang autographed na bagay. hehe.

ntpos ung gabi ksma ung aking new set of friends. kumain kami sa burger ave and nagkwentuhan kami ng mahigit 2hours. next time ulet. :)

so aun, best night of my 2011 so far. i guess? for sure manonood ulet ako pag may yellowcard part 2. :)

gg kids.

2010 year end survey.

2010 YEAR END SURVEY!!!

1) Was 2010 a good year for you?
opo!

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
pangasinan, baguio and ilocos sur trip with cousins. super bonding. hehe.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
early 2010 bitter moments. hahaha!

4) Where were you when 2010 began?
sa bahay nagpapaputok.

5) Who were you with?
mga pinsan, tito, tita, lolo, lola, mama, papa, kapatid ko.

6) Where will you be when 2010 ends?
dito parin sa bahay.

7) Who will you be with when 2010 ends?
sila sila parin.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2010?
syempre hindi. hahaha!

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2011?
less dota, diet, more aral. hahaha!

10) Did you fall in love in 2010?
yes!

11) If yes who?
hehehehe. :D

12) If yes, do they know?
oo.

13) Are you still in love with them?
oo.

14) You regret it?
oo :(

15) Did you breakup in 2010?
hindi.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2010?
madami.

17) Who are your favorite “new” friends?
vernice, pete, don, duay, rovel, vince, aevan, mccoy. hahaha!

18) What was your favorite month of 2010?
December xmpre.

19) Did you travel outside your country in 2010?
nope.

20) How many different provinces did you travel to in 2010?
4:baguio, laguna, ilocos sur, pangasinan.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2010?
mga kamag-anak kong lolo at tito na nde ko nmn masyadong kilala at kaclose?

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
oo naman.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2010?
orphan. hahaha. 2010 ko lng napanood e.

24) What was your favorite song from 2010?
Tinangay - Dicta License

25) What was your favorite record from 2010?
Glee music volume 4. wahahaha.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2010?
paramore lang. ung iba gig na madami, d ko mabilang. hehe.

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2010?
paramore na.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2010?
sobra.

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2010?
adik ako pero d ako nagdudrugs!

30) Did you do anything out of character in 2010?
ung pnagtripan ko ung prof namin. hahaha!

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
nung may nilasing akong tao tas napagalitan kaming dalawa dahil sakin.

33) What was the worst lie you told someone in 2010?
tungkol sa grades ko at sa mga test ko na hindi ko pnapakita sa magulang ko. hahahaha!

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2010?
madami, pero trashtalk lang. pero meron din iba ung gumugusto. >:D

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2010?
madami din syempre. hahaha!

36) How much money did you spend in 2010?
madami lalo na pag gimik/pustahan at may party.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2010?
nung nakapasok ung laughtrip na banda namin. nakuha kami 6 out of 35 bands. haha!

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2010?
nung lumipad ung drumsticks ko habang tumutugtog nung battle of the bands.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change something, what would it be?
pasukan, nde nako maglalaro ng PC at mag fofocus ako sa pag-aaral. :|

40) What are your plans for 2010?
lipat na ng school at bahay, papapayat, aral ng mabuti.

41)What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
vote.

42)What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
drumset, iPhone(ung akin na tlga hnd ung nanghihiram sa tatay ko. hahaha!), girlfriend?

43)What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
sept. 27 - awit pinoy 2010.
nov. 6 - nabengga kami, pero masaya naman nung una.

44)Did you suffer illness or injury?
di pa ako nilagnat since nagkadengue ako, pero puro sipon at sinat lng.

45) What was the best thing you bought?
SUPRA/DC/Ecko/TRIBAL/Nike Dunks shoes. :D

46) Whose behavior merited celebration?
my mom. hehe.

47) Whose behavior made you appalled and disappointed?
ako. tska ung ibang prof. :|

48) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
bday ko, paskuhan 2010.

49) What song will always remind you of 2010?
alay sa mga nagkamalay noong dekada 90-dicta license

50) Compared to this time last year, are you:
mas masaya ako ngayon, dati mga gan2ng araw mungago ako sa ka bitter-an!

51) What do you wish you’d done more of?
exercise at aral. hahaha.

52) What do you wish you’d done less of?
slacking off, dota.

53) What was your favorite tv program of 2010?
The Walking Dead!

54) Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
wala naman.

55) What was the best book you read?
hindi po ako nagbabasa ng libro e.

56) What was your greatest musical discovery?
dami ako natutunan na bago sa drums dahil sa mga banda ko sa USTe.

57) What did you want and get?
driver's license.

58) What did you want and not get?
job.

59) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
19! nag inuman sa 3rd floor ksma UST and HS friends.

61) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
saktong konyo lang. hahaha!

62) What kept you sane?
mga kaklase ko.

63) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Chloe Lamb? hahahaha.

64) Who do you miss?
my 3EEA family and ayi. hehe:p

65) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
lahat ng bagay dpat pnaghihirapan. :)

yun ay nung 'kami' pa

3:27AM
maya maya pa ay meron ulet akong JOB INTERVIEW at sana matanggap na ako. siryoso na. pero mamaya ko na haharapin yan, hnd tungkol sa job interview ko ang post na toh. *higop muna ng masarap at mainit na kape* aaah sarap.

anyway. sa sobrang kaboringan at walang wala na tlaga akong magawa sa buhay ko ngayon ay hindi ko maiiwasang mapatunganga at magtanto sa mga bagay bagay. minsan nag eemote nlng ako at inaalala ko ang mga maliligayang araw ko nung ako ay may girlfriend pa. hindi naman sa ako ay nagiging bitter, matagal ko na din kasing gustong mag post dito sa 'blog' kong ito nang mga bagay na may kinalaman sa amin, yun ay nung 'kami' pa.

sya ang una at nagiisa kong naging girlfriend. masarap isipin na yung taong pnkamamahal mo ay mahal ka din. masarap ung feeling na dahil sa 'iloveyou' nya buo na ang araw mo. masarap ung feeling na ikaw lagi ang una nyang kakausapin o tatawagan pag meron syang problema. masarap ung feeling na kabisado mo na ung galaw nya, alam mo kung kailan sya galit, alam mo kung naiirita sya, alam mong siryoso sya, alam mong nakikipagbiruan sya, alam mong naiiyak na sya at alam mo na ikaw lng dn ang mkakapagayos sa lagay nya na yun. masarap ung feeling na ikaw lng ang mkakapagtahan sknya pag umiyak na sya. masarap ung feeling na sayo ung unang text na mababasa nya at magkatext na kayo buong magdamag. masarap ung feeling na ikaw ung huling kausap nya sa phone at sayo dn ung huling boses na maririnig nya bago sya matulog. masarap ung feeling na meron kang inaalagaan, binababy, pinapaalala mo sknya lagi na kumain, magingat at magtxt kung may problema. masarap ung feeling na alam mong magkakaroon ng world war 3 kpag nambabae ka o nglaro ka ng dota. masarap ung feeling na kht na wala ng naniniwala sayo eh meron parin isang tao na nakikinig at nagtitiwala sa lhat ng sbhn mo. masarap ung feeling na umaasa sya sayo at hinding hindi mo sya bibiguin. masarap ung feeling na kaht galit na galit ka na sa mundo ay bigla ka nlng mapapangiti dahil may nanlalambing, nangungulet at nagpapacute sayo. masarap ung feeling na lahat ng gusto mo na ayaw nya ay kayang bilihin ng lambing at ka cute-an nya. masarap ung feeling na pakiramdam nyo na kayo lagi ang pnkamasayang tao pag mgksma kayo. masarap ung feeling kapag ksma mo sya ay pnagtitripan nyo ang isa't isa at kulang nlng ay mabaliw kayo kakatawa. masarap ung feeling kpag ksma mo syang naglilibot ng merville park habang nagkekwentuhan ng kung ano ano at habang magkahawak kamay. masarap ung feeling na itatakas mo sya sa dance night ng maksci at dadalhin mo sya sa UST para manood ng concert at mag stargazing. masarap ung feeling na itatakas mo sya sa klase nla at dadalhin mo sa UST pra samahan ka magclearance at ililibot mo nlng sya sa mga lugar sa bandang UST. masarap ung feeling na ayaw nyo ng bumitaw sa yakap nyo pag kelangan na umalis ng isa. masarap ung feeling na mgksama kayong nanonood ng favorite nyang palabas habang nakasandal sya sayo. masarap ung feeling na napapasaya mo sya pag pnapakain mo ng fries, mojos, potato chips o kung ano mang pagkain na gawa sa patatas. masarap ung feeling pagktpos nyong ayusin ung bagay na pnagawayan nyo eh prang pakiramdam mo na mas mahal nyo na ang isa't isa. masarap ung feeling na alam nyong magiging miserable ung buhay nyo kapag nagkahiwalay kayo at gagawin mo lhat para makipagbalikan at makipag ayos sknya.

at ang pnkamasarap sa lahat, ay nung narealize ko na 'sya na nga'. yun ay nung 'kami' pa. :)





gg kids.

job interview fail.

now playing: firework - katy perry
eto tlga ung bagay na bagay na kanta sa post ko na toh eh. hahaha!

november 4, 2010.

nagising ako nasa bandang 11am. ngayon ay ang aking JOB INTERVIEW kaya mejo excited na may halong kaba ang aking nararamdaman.

nakaayos na lahat ng kailangan ko. naihanda ko na ang aking resume na puro kasinungalingan, HBW ballpen na napulot lng kung san, valid ID daw pero dhil wala ako nun, yung school ID ko nalng na hindi na makita ung picture ko at hindi na mabasa ung nakasulat. dinala ko na din ung aking registration form panigurado. ayan! game! palag palag na!

pra sa mga hindi nakakaalam, first time kong mag-apply ng trabaho. at triny kong subukan ang aking beginner's luck sa IBM company agad.

maaga palang ay pumunta na ako sa recruitment site ng IBM sa may Pavillion, Shaw Blvd sa may EDSA. maraming tao sa labas ng site at pati sa lobby ay puno rin. pumasok ako sa loob at nag tanong tanong sa mga guard kung san pwede mag-apply. tinuro nya sakin ung isang ate na pinipilahan ng mga applicants dn siguro. pa-english english na agad sila e wala pa ngang interview, mga pasikat. at syempre hindi ako nagpatalo, sabi ko pa gamit ang aking gwapong gwapong boses "excuse me miss, where can I apply for a job here?". so sinagot nya ako ng english din na sya daw ngeentertain ng mga applicants at ibigay ko nlng daw ung resume ko sknya. tatawagin nlng daw nla kami sa lobby for interview. sobrang dami ng tao sa lobby, umupo nlng ako kung saan saan at nagbasa nung mga nakasulat sa dingding kung pano ung procedure ng pagapply sa job. after 15minutes, nagtawag ng 6 na pangalan ung isang ale na syang magiinterview samin, at ksma ako dun sa anim na un. nagtataka pa nga ata ung iba dahil kakaupo ko pa lng eh natawag agad ako. hahaha mga loser. so ayon, group interview pla pero isa isa parin kaming tatanungin. pumasok kami sa isang office at dun kami ininterview. syempre mga intro nung nagiinterview samin eh "hello guys, how are you? are you nervous?". so ung mga ksma ko naman tawa dito, ngiti dun, "oh yeah" dito, "oh yes" doon. syempre d dn ako papatalo. naki-ngiti na dn ako, dito na ata ung pnkaplastik na ngiting ngwa ko sa tanan ng buhay ko. todo ngiti naman ako habang nakiki "oh yeah guys, i'm nervous too. ha ha ha".

kaya ayan, tapos na ang intro intro. interview na!

isa lng nmn pnapgwa nung nag interview samin, "say something about yourself and what do we expect from you in this company".

unang tinwag samin eh ung miss na kamuka ni toni gonzaga pag may sakit. ang naalala ko sknya eh ayos nmn ung accent nya, marunung mag english, ayon. pwede na. pero hnd sya nakuha. hahaha!

next nmn ung ksma nya na naging teacher daw sa korea na wrong grammar naman. ang hilig nya gumamit ng "IS". bsta puro IS lng narinig ko sknya na nauutal.

ung sumunod nmn eh ung ate na martyr, gnwa nyang slambook ung paginterview sknya, sinabi na nya lhat ng hobbies pati mga favorites nya. nagpapaawa pa si ate, lahat na daw ng call center triny nya pero hnd siya kinuha at sna dito na daw sya mkuha. unang banat pa nya na naalala ko eh "MY BACKGROUND HIGHSCHOOL OF EDUCATION IS.. BLA BLA BLA" hahaha. sorry ako na mayabang pero imba eh.

next eh si kuyang palipat lipat ng pnagtatrabahuan, matagal na daw syang ngcacall center at gs2 nya itry sa IBM ganun. syempre sanay na, ayos ung english nya kya aun nakpasa sya ng interview.

next eh si isa pang kuya na 6 years na nagcacall center. imba mag english, smooth na smooth. for sure mkukuha un.

and next eh AKO NA. knkbhan ako, pangiti ngiti parin para kunwari relax na relax.
so say something about yourself na daw at eto ung NAALALA kong mga pnagsasabi ko.

"good afternoon guys. my name is Paul Roland Dupo. you can call me Paul but i prefer to be called by my surname or simply Dupz. i'm a 3rd year undergrad from the university of santo tomas taking up Electrical Engineering and graduated highschool at Makati science highschool (kala ko kc pampadagdag pogi points kya dinagdag ko na dn, hnd pala. HAHAHAHA!). i have no work experiences but we own a computer shop and i am the one who manages it. this is also my first time to apply for a job."

mejo ayos pa ung sagot ko nung una, nakopya ko na lhat ng sinabi nung mga ksma ko. hahaha! may mga sinabi pa ata ako bsta nde ko na maalala.

so ayun, nag tanong ulet si ate ng "so according to your resume you're a GARENA FORUM MODERATOR?? what does a garena forum moderator do?" eto na, eto na ung mga pnagiimbento ko sa resume tang ina.

"garena.. ah..is an ONLINE APPLICATION(???) where the, the LAN meets online, the local area network, oh, the local games becomes ONLINE????" *punas ng muka gamit ung panyo ko*
"and as a garena forum moderator we.. we.. we fix bugs and hacks and we fix glitches to give online players, oh, other online players across the country the convenience they need." fail.

tang ina pag nakita nyo lng tlga ung muka nung nag iinterview sakin FAIL NA FAIL.

so ayon, sinagot nalng nya "OK".

nagtanong pa sya kung ano daw maaasahan sakin ng company. sagot ko nmn:

"i am a very industrious person, i am not the kind of person you see there out there sitting around doing nothing" OO SINABI KO TOH. tang ina this.

nag lagay na dn ako ng drama pampahaba lng tlga kasi wala na akong masabi, sinabi ko pa:

"and instead of doing nothing, i would like to work and somehow help my family solve our financial problems" sinabi ko pla na ako ang mkakasolve sa financial problems ng aming pamilya. tang ina sobrang fail. hahahahaha!

ayan. job interview ka pla. well ung result, okay nmn daw ung accent ko at grammar(tama daw grammar ko, san banda? hahaha!) kaso nag stutter daw ako at andami kong hand gestures kya daw ako nahihirapan iexpress ung sarili ko. better luck next time nlng daw. haha thank you teh.

so next week nlng ulet ako mgaaply, kelangan ko mg move on. atleast ngaun alam ko na. ha! gg na.


gg kids.

COLLEGE LIFE

This is all about your recent course in college.
ONLY COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE REQUIRED TO ANSWER THIS.

1. Your course?
» BS in Electrical Engineering (soon to be BS in Architecture)

2. Where do you study?
» University of Santo Tomas (soon to be Saint Louis University, Baguio City)

3. Ever forced to take that course?
» hindi. wala na kasing slot sa ECE kya napadpad ako sa EE.

4. Who supports your schooling?
» parents.

5. Year level?
» 3rd Year.

6. Enjoying your college life?
» Syempre naman kahit sobrang hirap ng buhay EE. >_<

7. How about your new friends?
» Astig. Masaya kasama. :)

8. First college friends?
» sila Noel Ligero, Dio Agoncillo at ung mga DotA boys nung 1-13 plang ako.

9. First college boyfriend/girlfriend?
» wala eh.

10. Top 2 course choices?
» ECE and ComSci

11. Have you ever felt out of place in school?
» minsan pag wala masyadong kilala at walang kasama. -emo faggot-

12. Irregular or regular?
» Irregular. hahahaha!

13. Is there someone you’re crushing on at the university?
» syempre naman imposibleng wala.

14. Favorite subject?
» Drawing, Geometry, English, lahat ng naging PE ko at ung mga minor subjects na hindi kailangan ng talino para pumasa. hahaha!

15. During what class do you usually sleep?
» Engineering Economy. hahaha!

16. Subject you hate the most?
» INTEGRAL CALCULUS!!!!!

17. Is your school popular?
» yes.

18. Ever thought of taking up nursing?
» dati kc 'uso' at sikat na sikat. pero narealize ko takot pla ako sa dugo. so gay amp! hahaha.

19. Thinking of shifting to another course?
» magshishift na tlga ako.

20. What course?
» Architecture.

21. Do you miss your highschool life?
» oo naman sobra.

22. Any plans after grad?
» magtatrabaho para kumita ng madaming pera. hahahaha!

23. Where’d you work?
» hnd ko alam e? kht san basta palag palag.

24. Do you have plans of going abroad?
» okay lng, dpende dn un sa asawa ko kung gusto nya ako mapalayo sakanya. hahahaha!

25. 10 years from now, you’ll be…?
» nag dedesign na ng mga buildings. :)

26. Do you love college life?
» Syempre. Andaming pwedeng gawin.

27. Your dream grad gift?
» makapasa sa board exam at maging licensed na architect.

28. Do you have a gf/bf?
» wala. pero gusto ko na ulet. :/

29. Recent school problem?
» mga bagsak ko. :(

30. Prof you hate the most?
» ma'am javier. lahat na gnwa ko pra maayos ung 'incomplete' ko pero hnd parin gngwan ng paraan. tapos next ko nalng nalaman wala na pla sya sa UST. muntik na tlga ako pinaiyak nitong prof na toh. tang ina this!

31. Fave prof?
» Ma'am Mabini and Sir Go.

32. Prof you’re crushing on?
» Ma'am Mabini. hahahaha!

33. Classmate you’re crushing on?
» hahahahaha. si choki nga. paulet ulet? paulet ulet?

34. Closest college friends?
» bryan, noel, marbbie, louie, ryan, john, gilo, pius, rovel, vince, pete, patrick at ang ka isa isang babae na si duay. hahahaha!

35. What time do you usually sleep?
» 12mn pag normal na araw. pero 2-3am pag may test. (7am araw araw pasok namin. lol.)




mamimiss ko tlga tong UST na toh. :)

gg kids.

okay.

okay, post muna pra nde magmukang puro survey lng laman ng 'blog' na toh.

hmmm. okay wala ako maisip. @_@!!!

random songs?

tagged by ayi!!! :)

Instructions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 25 friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
LOVE GOES BOOM - bowling for soup
-boom, okay lang ako!!

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
WE ARE BROKEN (THE FINAL RIOT!) - paramore
-my personality is broken? gay? :O

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
GOT YOUR BACK - T. I. feat. Keri Hilson
-i got your back. yn nlng msasabi ko. :)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
YOU AND I BOTH - Jason Mraz
-yes. ka chat ko kc si ayi ngaun kya ganun. hahaha! xD

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
CROSSROADS - bonethugs n' harmony
-kinagat ng seven lion?

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
PEOPLE = SHIT - slipknot
-YEAH! lalo na ung mga balasubas. hahaha.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
HOT MESS - cobra starship
-i am a problem child?

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
WHEN I GO OUT, I WANT TO GO OUT ON A CHARIOT OF FIRE - escape the fate
-pag lalabas ba ako ng bahay tapos mgpapaalam ako sa parents ko gan2 ba? aw. labo. haha!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
ROCK SHOW - blink 182
- i fell in love with the girl at the rock show.

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
OUT OF THE BLUE - michael learns to rock. hahaha!
-out of the blue na out of the blue yung sagot.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR EX BOY/GIRL/BEST FRIEND?
SAYANG - stonefree
-kung lilisan ka na? sinong papalit sa iyo?? SAYANG!!!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
RIGHT NOW (NA NA NA) - AKON
-i wanna make up right now na na na? hahaha.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
TINANGAY - dicta license
-first song namin sa awit pinoy 2010! hindi ako nabibili. :)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
REACH - eyes set to kill
-engineer or architect. sana REACH ko yn para okay. haha!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
IMAGINE - john lennon
-i hope someday you would join me, and our world will be as one. hehe. :p

WHAT WILL YOU DO AT YOUR WEDDING?
THE TAKE OVER, THE BREAKS OVER - fall out boy
-would you rather be a widow, or a divorcee?

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
ENTER SANDMAN - metallica
-okay lang basta sa sand ako ililibing. xD

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
STUTTER - maroon 5
-stuttering.. -_-" hirap.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
THE PRETENDER - foo fighters
-mahirap nga nmn laging nagpapanggap. @_@

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
BEST I EVER HAD - vertical horizon
-yeah, she's only the BEST i ever had. :)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
THIS IS CITY IS CONTAGIOUS - the cab
-favorite 'the cab' song. gusto ko lng tapusin ung kantang toh mejo knina pa ako nabibitin palipat lipat ng kanta nde man lng natatapos. >.<

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
BREAK UP - mario ft. gucci and others
-why would they wanna break up? huh? labo pare.

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
BREAK YOUR HEART - Taio Cruz
-you're only gonna break break my break break my heart?!?!

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
HARANA - parokya ni edgar
-dapat pla natuto ako mag gitara pra marunung ako magharana. @_@

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
KILLING IN THE NAME - rage against the machine
-ikaw na ang killer? zzz.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT - elton john
-naalala ko lng nung bata ako ang tawag ko sa kanta na toh eh "LION KING". hahaha!

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
OUR FIRST TIME - bruno mars
-ang hirap tlga pag connectingin ung sagot sa tanong. hahaha. first time ko kc ikakasal kya ayan na un, bhla ka na.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
SEEK AND DESTROY - metallica
-takot akong madestroy. amf.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
FOREVER - faber drive
-i hope she'd like me FOREVER.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
TSINELAS - kamikazee
-sana nag havaianas nalng ako dati hnd islander pra cool. connect the dots. potek. hahaha!

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
THE TAKEDOWN - yellowcard
-your pokemon got hit with recoil

WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO SAY TO THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU?
SHE'S GOT YOU HIGH - MUMMM-RA
-ayi's got me high. hahaha:)

WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE?
ONLY ONE - yellowcard (nde random toh, favorite song ko nalng dn.)
-you are my only, my ONLY ONE. :)

♪

my OWN music/music video survey.


"MOST PLAYED SONG ON MY iTunes MUSIC PLAYER"
comment: very catchy song, no wonder it topped my music player. also has a catchy music video 'cause of the pillow fight scenes. and of course, demi lovato's there and i can't stop staring at her pretty face. ♥


"ALL-TIME FAVORITE SONG"
comment: fell in love with this song the first time i heard it. it never grows old and i never get tired listening to it. a wonderful song for my 'only one'. ♥


"MY CURRENT FAVORITE MUSIC VIDEO"
comment: this is the prettiest cassadee pope version i have ever seen. and add up her cute "take me home + clap clap" dance steps and we have a music video made perfectly for me! except for her hair, i want the previous one, that's her trademark!


"MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MUSIC VIDEO"
comment: nickelback music videos are great! but this one's my personal favorite. how cool it is to encounter a man who can see "death's clock" above people's heads? hahaha.


"MY FAVORITE OPM MUSIC VIDEO"
comment: clean + simple + rare 'serious' performance from kamikazee = epic!



gg kids.

10 facts you might not know about me.

i need to have at least 1 post per month, and here it goes for this month of august.

time check - it's exactly 4:00AM and i haven't had my sleep yet. currently listening to songs we're gonna play this saturday for our 'band jamming session'?! hopefully, all of us could come.

anyway, since this is MY blog. i'll be posting here the '10 facts you might not know about ME'. just got this idea from reading/stalking random blogs. haha peace y'all! but since i have no time left before my mom wakes up, i'll be doing my 5 out of the '10 facts you might not know about ME' for the meantime.

1. I'M A GOOD STALKER
so you think you can hide everything from me? think again. my insecurities and curiousity helped me achieve this. through facebook, friendster, multiply, blogger, tumblr, twitter, plurk, myspace, etc., i've seen them all. muhahaha! of course i won't tell how.

2. I CAN KILL YOU WITH WORDS
i don't care if you make me look like the stupidest person alive, the funniest one or the laughing stock of the class. that's okay, as long as you don't take things to me seriously we're good. but if you attacked me personally(specially when it involves something about my family), you're dead! i've learned every perfect combination of harsh word so never mess with me. thank you friends and online friends for this wonderful lesson you've taught me. you can ask some of my friends for proof.

3. I'M A MUSICALLY INCLINED PERSON
for some it's pretty obvious, but for others, they only see me as "walang ibang alam yan kundi magdota". fuck you and your neighbor! i listen to almost all genres of music. from rock, to pop, to country music, to choirs, ska, reggae, etc. and anything that sounds good. sometimes i consider noise as music. haha! but of course my personal favorite is punk rock(yellowcard and bowling for soup FTW!). i have more than 10,000 songs installed in my iPod. too bad my iPod's not working anymore. and of course i won't say i'm a musically inclined person if we don't have our cool, rocking band > Pambura't Pantasa. i play drums.


4. I EAT ALMOST ALL KINDS OF FOOD
this is the reason why my body's like this. hahaha! as long as the food is edible and can do no harm in me, i'll try it. i can live with vegetable alone, i'm a hundred percent ilokano so any types of vegetable are number 1 on our list. i've also eaten frog meat, salagubang, crickets, dog meat, SNAKE, raw shrimp, intestine, liver, lungs(bopis) and any other common exotic food here in the philippines. i've also tried eating raw pig blood mixed with vinegar(tastes like dinuguan). hahaha. the only thing that didn't pass my taste buds are those live, edible worms my classmates gave me back in highschool. crunchy on the outside and tastes like slimey hell on the inside.

5. MY 'NEAR-DEATH' EXPERIENCES
in my 19 years of living, i have experienced a couple of near-death experiences. i fell down the stairs then bleed many times(tanga lng! hahaha!), got bitten by a dog with rabies, had a dengue fever twice, had nightmares you feel you'll never wake up again. there are more, i just couldn't remember everything. so anyway, my MOST unforgettable moment with death was back when i was 15. we(family) went to splash island to 'CHILLAX' for a while. i got bored fooling around with my cousins(they were all younger than me) so i went to this 'wave pool' thing(if you've been to splash island, then you should be familiar with the things i'm saying). so there's this pool that has a 'wave-producing' machine. there are times they turn that machine off and so that wave pool becomes a normal pool. since there's no wave yet, and it's much easier to swim, i went to the deepest part of the pool(7 feet). minutes later, they turned the machine on. so waves started to form again. unlucky me, i was still at the 7 feet part of the pool. i started to swim towards the shallow part but something feels like pulling me back. then waves started to engulf me and push me deeper. every breath i take using my mouth just made me swallow more water making my body heavier. i tried to fight but every effort was just hopeless! then i gave up, in my head i was just saying "shet nalulunod na ako, patay na ako".
thankfully, that slow, dumb, idiot life-saver realized i was drowning. then he pulled me out and saved me.

the life i'm living right now maybe my Nth life. thank you God for giving me N lives.

college.

sa apat na taon kong nag-aaral ng ENGINEERING sa unibersidad ng santo tomas ay NGAYON ko lang napagtanto na ganito pala kahirap ang kursong aking kinuha. hindi porket matalino ka ay malalagpasan mo na ang kursong ito. maituturing kong madaming 'requirements' ang pagiinhinyero. pinakauna sa lahat, kailangan magaling ka sa MATH. dapat kabisado mo lahat ng formulas na natutunan mo simula noong 1st year highschool ka pa lamang. alam mo din dapat kung paano mo magagamit ang mga formulang ito para madiskartehan mo ang pagsasagot sa tone-toneladang problems na ibibigay sayo ng mga professor mong balahura sa grade. at para sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, ang pagiinhinyero ay kukunin mo sa loob ng limang taon! (yun naman ay kung isa kang regular student). nasasabi ko ang lahat ng 'toh dahil talaga namang nararamdaman ko na ang hirap maging engineer. pero bakit ko nga ba pinili ang pag-iinhinyero? bakit hindi na lang HRM pra kht d ako pumasok e papasa ako?

para sa inyong kaalaman ay hindi ko ginusto ang maging inhinyero. nung 4th year HS pa lamang ako ay hindi pa ako nkaka-pagdesisyon kung anong kurso ang kukunin ko sa kolehiyo. hindi pa ako mulat noon sa mga ganitong bagay sapagkat wala akong ibang ginawa kundi maglaro ng maglaro. oo! mas inuuna ko ang paglalaro nung 4th year ako kaya hindi ko napagisipan ng mabuti kung anong kurso ang dapat na kinuha ko. knukulit na ako ng magulang ko sa kung anong ba ang gusto kung kuning kurso sa kolehiyo. sinasabi ko na lang sa kanila na "oo alam ko na kukunin ko, ako na bhla jan" para hindi na paulet ulet yung mga tanong nila. hanggang sa makagraduate nako ng 4th year HS ay wala parin akong napagdedesisyunan! dumating ang oras kung saan kelangan ko na mag pasa ng aking mga registration form. wala na akong nagawa, sinundan ko na lang ang payo ng aking ama, ang sabi pa nya sakin tandang tanda ko pa ay "marunung ka naman sa math, mag engineer ka na lng!". wala nang isip-isip, sulat agad. welcome to engineering dupz.

at ngayon eto na ang buhay engineering. mahirap. minsan napapaisip ako kung ano ba dapat talaga ang kinuha kung kurso? may isang pagkakataon na nasabi ko sa sarili ko na "dapat pala nag aeronautics nalang ako". (ang aeronautics ay ang pag-aaral sa kung ano mang may kinalaman sa paglipad, pageeroplano. basta kung ano man yan na may knalaman sa himpapawid). nasabi ko toh sapagkat naisip ko na ang trabaho bilang isang piloto ay masaya. wala kang ibang gagawin kundi mag drive ng eroplano, malilibot mo ang buong mundo, lahat ng 5-star hotel na pupuntahan mo libre ka, at higit sa lahat, yayaman ka! pero meron ding 'downfall' ang kursong ito. unang una, MAHAL ang pag-aaral sa mga ganitong kurso at pangalawa, malalayo ko sa pamilya mo.

isa pa sa mga na-imagine kong kurso na dapat kong kinuha ay ang pagiging seaman. malaki ang kikitain mo sa pagseaseaman, pero hindi ka naman magiging masaya sa trabaho mong ganito. malayo ka na sa pamilya mo, bawat paglalayag nyo pa ng barko ay puno ng alanganin(pirata, engine failure, iceburg?). hindi ko din gusto ang training ng mga seaman. sa barko kayo magaaral, walang social life. at makakauwi ka lang sa pamilya mo pag wala kang binagsak na subject. lupit noh?

naisip ko din kumuha ng narsing. dahil sa narsing nga naman ay yayaman ka ng todo. in demand pa. pero minalas lang talaga, takot kasi ako sa dugo. haha!

at ang pnkahuli, ang architecture! eto ang kursong DAPAT talaga pinili ko. ito ang kursong nababagay sakin. alam naman nating lahat na pag-guhit ang puhunan ng mga architect. kelangan din ng kaunting math sa kursong ito, na saktong sakto lang naman para sa kapasidad ng utak ko. nung unang taon ko sa engineering ay meron kaming drawing subject. eto lang ang pnka naenjoy kong subject sa tanan ng buhay ko sa USTe. hindi mo kasi kailangang maging matalino para maipasa mo ang mga drawing subjects mo, sipag at tiyaga lang. sumunod kalng sa mga ituturo sayo.

at ayun! sana naman sa nabasa mo ay hindi ka magkakamali/nagkamali ng kursong kukunin mo sa college. PAG-ISIPAN na lang ng mabuti. hindi madali mag shift. nasa huli ang pag-sisisi.

gg kids.

my first day went a little like this.

so today will be my first day in class as 3rd year student(yes i'm a 1 sem delayed student!). and here i would just like to share my sched for this sem.



gg kids.

another sun soaked season fades away.

hello blog, i want to play a game. this game is called "i'll update my blog and this post marks the end of my summer and the start of my first day of class".

my 2010 summer has been the most unproductive summer of my life, i spent 75% of my time infront of my computer watching movies, downloading stuff and playing random online games. night is my life and i only get the chance to see sunlight when i wake up noon at around 5pm. awts!

but my summer's not that boring after all. :)

i've been to several beaches and resorts with family and friends too. i managed to strengthen the bonds i have with my cousins, south cembo friends, highschool friends and globe room 1 friends. thank you for all the drinking sessions we had. haha LUL. i also get the chance to vote for the first time and supported gilbert 'gibo' teodoro as president and jojo binay as vice president. i failed to get a summer job after my resume has been disqualified for not following simple rules(the photo i attached was my elementary graduation picture) hahaha! i failed to attend her 18th birthday, sorry. i failed to change course from EE to ECE only because of this incomplete thing i've been working for almost a year. imba.

but anyway, my summer's been great! although some may seem regretful. and it could only get better if you and i were still together.

gg kids.

i've said this a million times before.

credits to "marcelo santos iii" and "LOVE STORY on VIDEO written by MARCELO SANTOS III" group on facebook.

randomly watching videos on facebook until i saw this one. this video made me 'emo' a bit and reminds me as well of my happy past.

anyway, here's the video "basketball".





i'm sorry..

gg. :[

my life according to YELLOWCARD.

tagged by AYI. :)

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions.

You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title.

It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Tag your music-loving friends!

Artist I chose: YELLOWCARD.

Describe yourself:

- i use my WORDS, HANDS, HEARTS.

How do you feel:

- AFRAID of what would happen next in the near future -_-"

Describe where you currently live:

- parang EMPTY APARTMENT sobrang tahimik kc tulog na lahat ng tao. lolz.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:

- OCEAN AVENUE, feeling ko tapat eto ng beach eh. haha.

Favorite mode of transportation:

- SPACE TRAVEL???

Your best friend is:

- my KEEPER???

Your fear:

- to be MILES APART from someone. @_@!!!!

Where do you want to be:

- WAY AWAY from here?? kung saan malamig at masaya. xD

What are you proud of:

- TWENTYTHREE na lng ang online sa facebook at gising parin ako. -fail-

What do you want:

- i want to LIGHT UP THE SKY.

What do you want to discover:

- kung sino ung aking magiging ONLY ONE :)

What would you like to happen:

- SHRINK THE WORLD so that i would find you and me inside.

What would you love to do right now:

- i'd like to find out what's the VIEW FROM HEAVEN.

What would you do for happiness:

- party with LIGHTS AND SOUNDS ? hahaha labo.

What is the best advice you have to give:

- be strong, BELIEVE.

Thought for the day:

- go put on your best tonight, it's YOU AND ME AND ONE SPOTLIGHT :)

How I would like to die:

- CUT ME, MICK kung sino ka mang mick ka gupitin mo ako.

My soul's present condition:

- FIGHTING (pumapalag pa nmn ako kht papaano.)

My motto:

- i'm drying out, i'm crying loud. this isn't HOW I GO.

gg kids.

use somebody.

hi dupzmeister.blogspot.com! it's been a while since i last visited you and wrote something about my life. buy anyway, this is my very 'free time' so i'l just share you guys something.

now playing: tongue tied - faber drive.

Holy Week.
holy week marks the start of my summer. so far my summer's been great. seriously. i've been to cool places and beaches with my family on our province in pangasinan, it was our fiesta there. we also attended our cousin's debut in baguio(was our first encounter with our debutant cousin. badtrip, anganda nya amf! bohahaha!). all this happened in 24 straight hours, no sleep. went back home here in manila to get my clearance from ust the very nxt day. no sleep, i am always on a mission. -_-"

Pangasinan Part 2.
after finishing my business here in manila, i went back to pangasinan to attend our family reunion. so they rented this big house fit for us all. all i can say about that house --- IMBA! all rooms are fully-airconditioned, all rooms have 48x32 flat screen tvs, they also provide free use of nintendo wii and dvds(with tons of movie collection to choose from). but the best part about that house, or should i say outside this house was the nearby beach. night swim on the beach with cousins + RED HORSE...gg! :) wahahaha!


now playing: i'll be there - faber drive.

Trashtalk On.
but someone spoiled this good start summer of mine. you know who you are.:(
it was just a normal day, we're both online. she PMed me and said "sorry hindi nkapagreply wala load". so i just said it was okay. minutes later i asked her some questions about her/their lives, her answers are way different than that of the stories she told me before. and i've known this girl alot, i know when she's lying and when she's not. and it really pisses me alot when she lies and she denies it to death! it was so obvious and i keep on hearing the same story from everyone but still she denies it. tsk! so i told her that she's a liar. she fought back and said something like "wala nako pakialam sayo" with a laughing icon. that infuriated me alot and the rest is trashtalking history. hey, i'm sure you're reading this. every piece of shit i said to you that night was true. hope you remember every single word of it. and that "poor, he cannot move on. haha" you kept on shoving my face, don't worry, i'm making a 'move' na. sorry for acting so immature that night.

well, i'm not done with this but i got no time left.

have to end this here.

gg kids. -_-"

this free fall.

eto ung mga nakita ko nung ginoogle ko pangalan ko.
galing toh sa blog ni andy. >> http://addee.multiply.com/journal/item/82/blog.
LOL.

Nov 8, '06 6:26 AM

no reason for me to blog actaully. especially today, i have to do many things.. i just want to blog. :))

yesterday... i was soo pissed because the other computer (windows 2000 professional) is shuting down again and again.. pathetic. argh.. and i can't chat. shit. this computer (windows xp) has a password and my brother is the only one who has the access.. it sucks big time, right..? pero it is good that my brother allows me to use this one. ;p and because of that.. sinumpong ako. :)) super.. even my mom cannot force me to do stuffs.. yeah.. aftermath of not blogging for a long time.im such a bad daughter. peroo im in a good mood today.

yeah.. im officially back to my school girl career. yeahboy. its fun. im starting to complete notes again.. like what a school girl does. ;p i remembered the recital of our poems.. for graded recitation.. and every time ms. larcena is going to call one of us.. paul (my classmate; 3/4 grandslam and a good friend) always name names.. :)) like:

marife- fetus (she is small.. and has curly hair.. that's why she is called fetus)
paul- pork (becaue he is sooo healthy.. XD)
blessy- bulldog (naaah.. their alltime favorite XD)
kat- market (its english time.. the tagalog of market is palengke.. palengkera.. kat has a powerful voice. XD)
vincent- tree (haha.. because he has bushy legs.. sometimes they call him kapre. XD)
chrisanto- charcoal; shadow (because he is dark... same with denib, his bff)
nieva- teeth; bunny (because he has two big fronth teeth)
gerald- farmer (since he lives in bicol.. and one way of living there is farming. XD)
ilonah- fish (because she has this manguso stuff.)
abhie- absent; MA'AM CANO because she is, most of the time, absent.. she looks like our teacher in filipino. XD)
dianna- ma'am serra (she looks like our math teacher)
mariano- demonyo (yeah..he actslikeone.. he speakslike one.. his principles are obscure.. his tongue is devil-ish.)
jon- kalbo (self explainatory)
martin- baboy. (he is healthy too.)
karlo- inferiora.---

there is this song... if your heart's not in it by westlife.. introduced by kenneth.. yeah.. it hurts.. lol. i just remembered that i dont have that someone.. :))



gan2 pla ako nung HS. nkakamiss. haha. peace. :)

gg kids.

my heart glow's in the dark.

now playing: do what you do - cute is what we aim for.

it's been 2 weeks since i had my last post. sorry bored readers for not updating you with my wrong-grammared nonsense articles 'bout this boring life. lol. atleast i'm trying.

so here it goes.

march 9.
this day was paramore's first concert here in manila. i've been a fan of this band since 2nd year high school so why miss that chance to see them perform live. and who knows, that may be their first and last visit here. bohahaha!

anyway, we've bought silver tickets for paramore's concert. the view's okay, we could see clearly how beautiful hayley is and how she shines brighter than anyone. lol. calla lily started the show for paramore. it's no surprise why people don't appreciate calla lily anymore. maybe it's because of their 'elementary-lyrics' and 'weed-band' issue. haha! and it's quite disappointing to start a great paramore concert with a lame band. zzz. i was expecting hey monday to start the show on, like what they did with fob's..but, nevermind. lolz.

now playing: the fourth drink instinct - cute is what we aim for.

the show started when that big 'paramore' background came up. and paramore started playing their soundcheck. i wasn't familiar with the song but i heard the title was 'BNE intro' ? lol. ignorance was their first song, a great song to start a perfect concert. paramore played 14 songs(ignorance, crushcrushcrush, thats what you get, looking up, careful, let the flames begin, never let this go, the only exception, pressure, for a pessimist i'm pretty optimistic, where the lines overlap, decode and brick by boring brick). the show was sick! hayley's infamous "we.. are.. paramore!" pwned the entire moa concert grounds. bohahaha! imba concert ftw!

march 19.
last day of classes and our c202 finals exam. thank God that 6 hour overnight study really paid off. lolz! and so i gave myself a reward-sleep. later that night my tito took me to some bar in metrowalk. stayed on a vip room nd met some ust volleyball varsity players(men). their GF's were damn HOT. better than those bitchy celebrities you see on tv. bohahaha!

anyway, they treated us with free food, unlimited drinks, cocktails and tequilla. they also made me sing jaded by aerosmith on karaoke. j-j-jaded? lol! and the rest was more drinking and partying history.

now playing: the curse of curves - cute is what we aim for.

march 20.
today's the opening of this 'paliga' here on south cembo and we just had our first game. just got my uniform this morning and it looks great and fits perfectly. they took the 'atlanta hawks' design and wrote 'swank' instead of 'hawks'. that's our team name, SWANK(samahang walang atrasan ngayon at kailanman! -_-"). that 'sumpreme court' thing was just our sponsor. lolz.

so my post's starting to get long and boring, i'll make this long story short.
we LOSE the game. score was 76-61. i scored 2 BIG POINTS! and that airball free-throw gained me fans and the title 'dota boy'. thanks for all those 'dupz! mag-dota nalng tayo!' cheer. haha. imba kayo.

gg kids.

you can try on my clothes, but you can't fill these shoes.

those line from the song 'poison' by all time low are best captions for my imba 'kicks' collection. lol. just sharing.

anyway, monday's been great. except for the fact that my pc won't open or start or should i say it's broken or someone destroyed it. well, the only way to fix this is to REFORMAT. reformatting computer sucks! it's time consuming, annoying, stressful. and it's my computer, all the downloading and long waiting, all those files, songs, movies, games, documents ---> gg. lol.

but i'm done reformatting this shit computer now, and it's running on windows 7 ultimate OS. hoohah! goodbye to those 'windows 7 themes for windows XP'.
here's the proof! haha! :p

now playing: candles - hey monday. (got only 200 songs on my playlist. @_@)
moving on, today's also basketball training. 5 straight hours of basketballs feels good but tiring. and expect later or tomorrow for an imba body pain. lol. so, the team's good. coach's good. practice was good. everything's good. xcept for our team name, they named it 'supreme court'. zzz! GGng GG ser! -_-"


and tomorrow/today will be paramore's concert. hope tickets are still sold and hopefully we could buy vip tickets for 1k or lower. lolz! but seriously, those tickets are cheap. gold and silver price ranges from 1.5k-3k. compared to that of MCR's and FOB's 10k-20k++!! amp. they're as cheap as that of sarah geronimo's concert. (ps: i didn't watch sarah geronimo's concert, just heard this from a friend. i don't even know who that sarah geronimo is. haha!). bahala na ulet si hayley.

hmm, i'm not done installing and downloading these stuff yet.

better finish everything before everyone wakes up.

gg kids.